Overcoming the Quarter Life Crisis

quarter life crisis

The Quarter Life Crisis and the Pressures of Young Adulthood

Life. You grow up, go off to college, get a career, meet the love of your life, get married, buy a house, then have kids, and all of these things should be obtained by the ripe age of 30. So what happens when you’re train gets derailed from societies strict timeline? Are you a failure? Are people going to judge you, and criticize your choices? Why is there this enormous pressure put on us to live life in societies chronological order? Maybe there isn’t any pressure at all. Maybe we’ve all just grown up seeing the same story line, time and time again, so we’ve created this level of expectation in our own minds.

My Quarter Life Crisis

In 2015 I was proposed to. It was perfect in every aspect, and I knew this was the person I would spend my forever with. So why was I so anxious? Why did something just not feel right? – My train was derailed from the track. I wasn’t expecting this moment at this point in my life. Heck, we didn’t even live together yet, and we hadn’t figured out our futures or our careers. In my mind I had that vision of how ‘things should be’, but when my path took a different turn I choked.

Bombarded by wedding questions within the first week of engagement I thought I better get crackin’, because when you get engaged you get married within the next year, right? Another one of societies unwritten rules I thought I had to live by. I went into crazy mode thinking of all the things I didn’t have at this stage in my life like a career, a home, or even my college diploma since I was still a student. Thoughts like “how can we get married without having a home together” kept running through my mind. Then unfolded a downward sequence of events of almost purchasing a house that we barely had the money for, and putting a down payment on a wedding venue that was way out of our league. All of this because of my perception of where I should’ve been at this stage in my life.

It took making more than a few mistakes for it to finally click. Who the heck cares what anybody thinks, or says? There are no rules in life. There is no set timeline. Everyone is entitled to live life their own way, and on their own timeline. If we don’t want to get married within a year after our engagement, then we’ll get married whenever we feel like it. The key to life is to be happy with what you’re doing and where you are.

I’ve had many different conversations with friends about this subject and I think everyone feels this pressure to do things in a certain order to be considered successful; whether it’s going to school, getting a ‘grown up job’, or even having a significant other. You don’t need to be where everyone thinks you should be, but you need to be wherever it is you’re happy to be.

I am finally at the point where I don’t care what anybody says or what anybody thinks I should do, because I’m doing what makes me happy and that’s how it should be! So maybe my train derailing was actually just a big detour for me to make sense of what was best for me, and how I should live my own life – my way. Not the life I thought I was supposed to live.

E xx

 

Erin

April 3, 2017

RELATED POSTS

3 Comments

  1. Reply

    Steph

    April 30, 2017

    Totally agree with everything here, live your life and so what makes you feel happy and do it all when you want to do it. I am an unmarried 30 year old and have actually been reminded about my biological clock … not even joking AND by someone I don’t even know that well. I don’t even want children, I have never seen myself as a mother – that is also frowed upon, as if because I’m a woman I must have children :/ Excellent blog post. I will be sure to read more very soon! Xx

    • Reply

      Erin

      May 6, 2017

      Thanks Steph! I totally agree, everybody is different therefore everyone should be entitled to live life in a way that makes them happy. People will always make comments based on what they think is the right thing to do, but at the end of the day it’s not their life lol!

      XO

LEAVE A COMMENT